Wendy28

I have always struggled with my weight.  Through my public school years I was always one of the heaviest kids in the class.  At seventeen, I hit my highest weight at 190 pounds at 5’7”. It was depressing and I didn’t feel good about myself or the way I looked.  I complained about my weight to friends and some would tell me that I was just big-boned.  One friend, who I still think of as the first major motivator in my life finally said, “you know what, instead of complaining, why don’t you do something about it?” She offered to go on walks with me after school and we discussed how to eat properly. It was the first time in my life where I actually lost weight! Within the year my weight dropped to 150 pounds and my self esteem improved along with my health! I started to exercise often, I ate healthy foods and researched health and fitness whenever possible. I even became a vegetarian for a year.  I was relatively happy with my weight of 150 pounds when I started college. Guys were paying attention to me and I was having a lot of fun at school. During the summer before my last year of school I started dating a guy fairly seriously.  We ate out a lot and drank too much. My weight quickly rose to 165 pounds by the end of the summer. This left me feeling self-conscious entering my final school year.  In my final year of school, I lived in a house with seven other people.  One of the girls in the house, a slim and wild freshman, became my close friend.  Close to the end of the year, she admitted to me that she threw up if she ate too much. She didn’t seem to think it was that big of a deal. Sick of my weight and contemplating her story, I tried this once or twice during my final year but was turned off by it.  

The September after I graduated was hard.  I was up to 170 pounds and dreamed of being a pretty, slim blonde that turned heads. I was a bit depressed, I didn’t have a job in my field and missed my friends from school.  I think that maybe I thought if I nothing else maybe I could control my weight.  For about two weeka I played a game with myself, I tried to eat even less calories than the day before.  For the entire week I was eating between 400 to 800 calories a day.  At the same time I started taking Xenical, a prescription weight loss drug, that I ‘borrowed’ from my father. By the end of that week I was sick of not eating and thought back to my friend who admitted to throwing up.  This week was a defining week that started four years of a nightmare eating disorder. My weight dropped to 134 pounds, I look at photos and I looked great, but I was probably more unhappy than I had ever been in my life. My entire life revolved around how to avoid food, binging and purging and obsessing about my appearance.  I became anemic, I was too tired to exercise, my hair felt like straw and I was afraid that I would never be able to stop the cycle. Even though I was almost 15 pounds lighter than I am now, I still felt like I was too big.

During this time I moved to the town where I now live. I started my first career at 23 years old and started to make some friends in town. I confided to two close friends about my disorder and they were so understanding and supportive. I felt that I could not keep living the way I was living. With the support of my friends and increasing of self-esteem I slowly got out of the cycle I felt trapped in. I started to talk to a professional and by the age of 25 felt like I was back to good health. 

I can’t say that I never have negative thoughts about my weight now, but looking back, I know that I would never want to go through life like that again. I think that more than anything, its important to keep in good health. I know that ‘thin’ does not equal good health.  I know that support and open communication are a very important part of good health. I care about my body, I want to be healthy and fit but I do want to look good too. I look forward to getting fit and losing weight in a healthy way.  The way I did when I was a teenager. My family has a history of weight related diseases like adult-onset diabetes and cancer. I think that we’ve all got to do whatever is within us to be as healthy as we can be and its not all about being as thin as we can be.

I wanted to share this with whoever is interested in reading it because no one ever means for disordered habits to occur but they can.  People do things like fasting for a couple of days, extreme exercise, amongst other things and expect that its only for a day or week. Its amazing how quickly a bad habit can become an addiction.

Health is the greatest source of wealth, we should never forget that!

I’ve been trying to get my butt in gear for a while to work towards a healthier life.  I met my wonderful boyfriend about a year and a half ago and since then, I’ve gotten…..comfortable.  Before we met, I was a regular, motivated exerciser. I had a very healthy diet and it changed quite a bit after meeting my guy.  We recently started building a house together and my attempts at exercise have been pathetic. 

 Close to 10 pounds later, I’ve realised that my body isn’t going to stay healthy unless I start making a consistent effort to help it out.  I need desparately to stay accountable and consistant.  I’ve been a part of this site for two days only and I do see a lot of potential to help me reach my goal! It’s very exciting, I love all the support that the members offer!

 Tomorrow I meet for the first time with a personal trainer! I’m excited about this too. I think that this site and a trainer are two great ways to help me meet my goals!